It’s unfathomably big.
I feel it strongly.
I witness myself transforming. I’m not sure that the experiences I recall actually happened to “me”
Life is like a puzzle in the shape of a jewel, and each day I am playing with the pieces.
But it comes to fit together somehow, more each day. The jewel finds its shape, its faceted character.
Eras of my life, they come in approximately two to three year spans. They are universes unto themselves.
A bossanova guitar tune, and I am sucked back in time – six years ago. She was still alive. She made the place what it was. She walked the sunny Oakland streets in her sandals and pedicured toes, humming to herself.
We ate pistachios together. We enjoyed the bounty of the California soil, water, air, together. It was a life for a few years. It was a life we knew together.
When I used to play guitar, it was as a girl with a stormy and tumultuous heart.
I hold the instrument now; everything is different. Some storms contain themselves in the wisdom of years past, loves lost, promises broken, knowings become unknown.
I hold the instrument now, lightly. Lightly, as though the heavier life becomes, the more we learn to float above it.
Light is my hold on what is, and what ought to be.
Light is my knowing of who I am.
Open is the door for a new becoming.
